Postpartum Depression.
After giving birth to the most joyful thing I've ever laid eyes on, I realized that I didn't have that feeling of euphoria that EVERYONE said I was going to feel. I wasn't instantly in love with my baby. I was tired, loopy from drugs and in pain. I figured it would get better after I recovered from the birth. It didn't. At my follow up appointment with my doctor, he asked if I was feeling the Baby Blues. He said it would go away in a few weeks and that I'm doing a great job.
I sure didn't feel like it. I felt like the crappiest mom in the world who wasn't in love with her baby like society says you should be right after birth.
A couple months later I started losing interest in being a mom. I didn't want to breastfeed anymore. Every time my baby cried, I would cringe. When my husband came home from work, I had extreme anxiety and begged him to just take her.
Someone Said I may have PPD. I was like 'what, me? no way!' I didn't want to admit that when Paisley was fussy, I resented her. I didn't want to admit that I would have rather ended my life than sticking around here feeling like a crappy mom.
Baby Blues VS PPD
Baby Blues: "A common temporary psychological state right after childbirth when a new mother may have sudden mood swings, feeling very happy, then very sad, cry for no apparent reason, feel impatient, unusually irritable, restless, anxious, lonely and sad. The baby blues may last only a few hours or as long as 1 to 2 weeks after delivery."
Baby blues is very common. It doesn't typically require medical attention. Although, you should definitely tell your doctor if you are experiencing any of the symptoms in the definition above!
When you are months after childbirth and you realize that you are are primarily: keeping to yourself, having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, lack of concern towards your baby or intense concern and anxiety, and/or feeling emotional numbness or frequent crying; you may be experiencing PPD.
When I finally had enough of feeling the way I did, I finally told my doctor. She told me she wishes I had told her soon because SO many women go through this, but, no one wants to admit to it. I felt alone in my feelings but I WASN'T.
Postpartum depression occurs after one out of every eight deliveries in the United States, affecting about half a million women every year.
A half a million women? That's A LOT. You are NOT alone!
It is important to tell someone when you are feeling this way! A friend, a family member, a member of your religious institution, a counselor, and most importantly your doctor!
You are an amazing mother, no one will think less of you if you ask your help, and it is much better for your well being and the well being of your baby if you ask for help!
Did you ALSO know that Dads can also suffer from PPD?
PPD can affect as many as 10% of new fathers.
If you need someone to talk to. Someone who doesn't know you but has been through what you are going through, but you don't feel comfortable talking to your doctor, talk to me! My e-mail is on my home page, and you can find my facebook through my google + account.
You're doing great, moms and dads!
xox.
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