My birth story!

While I was pregnant, I had EVERYTHING planned out.

How I would parent, how I would refuse medication during birth, how I would NEVER have a c-section, because its unnecessary… Everyone told me ‘you keep on planning, but just wait, everything will change...’ It made me angry. No one believed me. So my mindset was that of ‘I’m gonna show YOU!’

Ha!

November 17, 2013: 1 week until my due date. I was so excited, so scared, so nervous! My husband had finally come home from his deployment, just in time to welcome his baby girl! My family would all be here any day now, hopefully she would arrive while they’re here! I was still very adamant about a med-free vaginal birth. I made my birth plan and packed my hospital bag. I was all ready!

The night I picked my husband up from the airport after not seeing him for 4 months!

November 23, 2013: 1 day until my due date. My family had arrived in time for my due date AND Thanksgiving! I was thrilled! I couldn’t wait for Paisley to make her appearance and my whole family be around to see her! I was getting anxious, but I still wanted that med-free birth.

On the beach outside of my families condo! The day before my due date! 

November 24, 2013: My due date. I tried EVERYTHING to try and get this little girl to come out! I mean, EVERYTHING! My family, who traveled from Ohio to visit, was leaving in a couple days. I really wanted them to be around when I had Pai. The likelihood of that seemed small.

November 28, 2013: 4 days after my due date and its Thanksgiving. My family will be leaving in 2 days and still no sign of Paisley. My doctor said I was completely unfavorable. 1 cm dilated, 0% effaced. The thought of induction sounded REALLY great at that moment, even though I SWORE I would NEVER do it. At this appointment, my doctor said that if I have not gone into labor by my next appointment, he would induce me.

My husband and I on Thanksgiving. 4 days overdue!

December 3, 2013: Induction day. Yes, I chose the induction. I strayed from my plan. I proved everyone right. At the time, I just wanted her out. I was tired of being pregnant. I never once felt contractions. I was still completely closed. They started me on cervadil at 5pm and let it sit overnight.

December 4, 2013:

6AM My doctor came in to check me after the cervadil. Still completely closed. He tried to break my water, but my cervix was too high up. So they started me on pitocin (logic?)

After 11 hours on pitocin,still completely closed. So I told my doctor just to schedule my c-section. I knew where this was headed.

5:26 PM, I birthed a beautiful baby girl via c-section. 7lbs 20.5 inches.

 

A huge part of me wishes I had just waited until she came naturally, but I realized having a c-section doesn’t make you less of a mother. Just like having a vaginal birth doesn’t make you more of a mother.

After my c-section I was loopy from the drugs and I didn’t even see my daughter or my husband for at least 2 hours after the surgery. I was able to breastfeed when she came in, with the help of a nipple shield but I didn't feel any special bond. I loved her immediately and she was beautiful, but it was a hot mess.

 It truly didn’t matter how she came, though, only that she did; And honestly, I’d do it all over again, for her.

xox